Nathan is grieving over the loss of his smart, talented but often annoying older brother, Al. Not only did 17 yr old Al commit suicide, 15 yr old Nathan found him. Now haunted by that discovery and a decision made just before Al died, Nathan is filled with guilt and anger. Why did Al do it? He was a gifted artist, and he had plans for university, travel around the world, and was always filled with wonder at the stars and beautiful things around them. Al was different.

Megan is grieving over possibly the best friend she ever had. Al was special, making her feel like she was worth more than the estate they lived on. Worth more than the stunted future she had allowed herself. But she too feels guilty – about hiding her friendship with the ‘weirdo’ as others had labelled him.

Both Nathan and Megan are trying to deal with their loss when they meet each other. It’s Al’s art that brings them together. Megan wants to do something to honour Al’s extraordinary talent, and Nathan finds a drawing that adds to his pain. This drawing kicks Nathan into a hell bent mission to find out why Al decided there was no other way out.

Heart wrenching. There are no other words for this debut novel from an author who has personally been through so much of what happens in her novel. Set in Manchester, Nathan’s pain is raw on the page. He tries so valiantly to brave through his grief on his own, even though he has a supportive family and professional help.

The relationships within this narrative are portrayed brilliantly, showing the reader the many different sides of friendship. It can be supportive, quiet, fun or just plain toxic. We see three different viewpoints – Nathan, Megan and Al himself has a small section at the beginning of each chapter. Bullying, peer pressure, social media, school and family are the building blocks of this novel – have your tissues nearby.

Author – Danielle Jawando

Age 14+

(Suicide, Bullying, Social Media, Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram, School, Siblings, Family, Grief, Loss, Anger, Revenge, Relationships)