Maybelline Chen loves her big brother Danny. He’s always been at her side, from when she was just a
bump to now as a junior in High School. Their parents dote on Danny too, as a star athlete and high achieving student, but May doesn’t mind as he’s a shining force in all their lives.
May can never seem to please her mother who is constantly comparing her clothes, hair and academic success to other Asian girls they know, but Danny is always there as a buffer, making his mother smile and distracting her from her criticism of her daughter.
Danny is outgoing with many friends and the world at his feet after an acceptance to Princeton… at least that was how May saw it. Until the night the police came. Danny is dead.
May’s world implodes, her mother becoming a shell of her competent, vibrant self, and her father trying to hold everything together. May’s best friend Tiya is right by her side as much as she can be, and Tiya’s bother Marc is too. After all, he was Danny’s best friend and they all grew up together. The words spinning through everyone’s minds are, Why? and How did I not see something was wrong?
May struggles to get back to school, to understand her grief, to help her mother out of bed and back onto her feet, when something takes their legs out from under them again.
A well-known, respected and wealthy man in their community speaks out at a school event, blaming the recent suicides on the academic pressure in their school. Then he specifically blames the Asian parents who pushed their son too hard to achieve. He adds that every other kid has to work even harder to keep up, not realising he has blindsided those very parents in the room in front of so many others.
No-one stands to correct him.
May is changed from that moment, breaking out of her cocoon of silence, shyness and grief. Her parents are again in shock, and May refuses to stand by and say nothing – even when her parents tell her not to.
They say silence is the best answer. May knows they are wrong.
Wow! This novel will tear at your heart, make you rage in anger, spill your tears and make you pump your fist in the air.
This is a story of family, mental health, suicide and the fallout. It is learning how to put yourself back together after your world has dropped from under you, and then be strong enough for others in your family. It’s about finding strength from deep inside to stand up for those who tell you to keep silent, even as they are ignored, shunned, shoved and even more blatant racism erupts in the workplace.
It’s about finally being able to cry for your brother, your life, your joy…
This novel was an eye-opener for me as a reader and May as a character. Her sheltered shy existence has prevented her from seeing the racism around her. She didn’t realise what her black friends have had to deal with all their lives and even that her parents dealt with it constantly. For me it highlighted the Asian racism that is also prevalent in US society, and the ignorance of many entitled, white, or wealthy people around them.
Stunning. Thought provoking. Beautifully written. Read it.
Author – Joanna Ho
Age – 14+
(2022, Harper Collins, Family, Love, Friendship, Relationships, Suicide, Mental-Health, Academic Pressure, Racism, Finding Inner Strength, Speaking Out, Taking your own Narrative Back, Sam Smith, Lay Me Down, Letting go, School, Asian, Understanding, Grief, Hope, Protest)